CAT KILLER CONFESSES: biggest asshole in new york city comes clean

Possible serial killer and child molester (due to psychological pre-disposition studies)and confirmed kitty bludgeoner Joseph Petcka came the closest he has to an apology yesterday, telling jurors his fatal kicking of Norman, his girlfriend's orange house tabby, was "bad."

"A bad, violent reaction," Petcka admitted of his steel-toed motorcycle-boot blows that sent little Norman to the crematory and Petcka to Manhattan Supreme Court on felony animal-cruelty charges.

The out-of-work actor's act of cat-trition came as he concluded two days on the witness stand, trying to convince a jury that he punted the poor puss only after the animal twice sunk its fangs into his right hand.

Under state agricultural law, violence against a companion animal is a felony only if the inflicted cruelty is for "no justifiable purpose."

In apparent hope of proving that justification, Petcka had spent Thursday afternoon earnestly describing how the 73⁄4-pound Norman "reared around," "lunged" and "growled" while attacking.

The saga continued yesterday, with Petcka rising in his business suit to his full 6-foot-2 height, twisting his body and even waving his arms and legs to demonstrate from the witness stand the disturbing occurrences last year in the living room of his girlfriend's Greenwich Street apartment.

"He extended himself toward my legs," Petcka testified, grasping at the air before him as he described how Norman "lunged" at him from beneath a desk.

Norman had already bit him once at this point, he said - causing blood to come "bubbling" out of his right hand - and the girlfriend, Sports Illustrated reporter Lisa Altobelli, had already stormed out of the apartment after the pair argued and Petcka shouted, "You love that cat more than me!"

"His arms were outstretched," Petcka said of how the raging Norman erupted into view. "And his teeth were bared, and he came at me in one fell swoop."

"Is it fair to say that Norman pushed you backwards?" asked prosecutor Leila Kermani.

"Objection!" shouted defense lawyer Charles Hochbaum. "He said he lunged at him!" the prosecutor protested.

Justice Daniel FitzGerald told her to rephrase her question.

"Did he lunge at you?" she asked.

"Yes."

"And did that lunging cause you to fall backward?" she continued.

"Yes," Petcka sighed. "All I remember is landing on the coffee table, with a thud. With a thump."

A prosecution veterinarian on Thursday had compared the kicking force necessary to cause Norman's internal injuries to the force a soccer player uses to propel a ball to the goal.

Yesterday, Petcka offered a more mild recreational analogy. Sitting on the coffee table and kicking Norman, he insisted, was more like riding a bike.

"I swung my hand up when he bit into my thumb, and then I threw back - to get my face and neck out of the way - because I didn't know if he was going to jump."

"And then I started to kick my legs like a bicycle."

He lifted up his long legs and began manipulating an invisible bike, narrating as he pedaled. "Kick and kick," he said. "Up. Down. Yeah."

Petcka's account concluded testimony in the trial. Summations in the bizarre case are scheduled for Monday.